If the President would simply issue the following proclamation, I would support him forever…
“Let it be known that from this day forward, all marching band competitions shall be held on Fridays. All students involved in the competition shall be exempt from homework given or due that day. In addition, students not involved shall remain at school and complete any standardized testing required. Marching band students shall be exempt.”
“Let it also be known that each school district shall provide the competing band with a charter bus – complete with DVR and satellite – and shall provide catered meals for the marching band members and staff for the duration of the contest.”
“Let is also be known that the day following such competitions, practice by any of the bands participating shall be forbidden. If a band ignores this provision, it shall be required to take the standardized tests it missed. Band directors and staff shall be provided with a $500 honorarium to enable them to enjoy this day with their family and friends.”
Hereby signed by the President in the Oval (isn’t a whole note an oval) Office this day of __________ in the year of our Lord ________.
***James currently teaches middle school band and is no longer subject to the long hours and separation from family required by marching band. He did thoroughly enjoy his 13 years teaching marching band, and would happily do it again if that was his only job (just marching band, no classes during the day). He is the author of 5 books, including The Saxophone Diaries: Stories and Tips from my 30+ years in music, and is available for training and speaking engagements. Find out more here.
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